I’ve always said I had a singular knack for hindsight in life. I can see precisely what needs to be done, precisely after it’s too late to do it. No, strategy was never my forte growing up. I played defense in kiddie soccer, I left the chess board dusty in our game closet, and I hid under the community park slide and built sandcastles when everyone else was playing “Capture the Flag.”
This weekend, however, the time has come to take a stand. To go on the offensive. To strategize. Friday night is White Glove inspection, and my roommates and I are snapping on our goggles and pulling tight our yellow rubber gloves in preparation for a battle—a strategic battle of Students vs. The Dustball. Of course, as in any battle, you must think from the enemy’s perspective and anticipate the enemy’s line of attack. A word to the wise: be wary of the Dustball. They are everywhere—lurking in dark corners beneath your bed, skulking behind the dresser next to that electrical outlet you can never reach. Some float in no-man’s land—waiting for a moment of weakness on our part to bank on some overlooked, trifling piece of territory. Some Dustballs have even been known to latch onto us in the great outdoors and travel behind enemy lines on our own shoes and backpacks—cackling behind their sooty sleeves at what we are so oblivious to.
My roommates and I have strategized and divvied up our room into sections so as to defeat this foe in the most efficient way possible. Everyone: be conscious. Be thorough. The Battle of the Dustball is not for the faint of heart or for the soul of leisure—it will be an intentional, cohesive effort for each room to stand tall and stand bravely. It will require, perhaps, a little strategy. But together, we can be victorious and vanquish the Dustball. Who’s ready for White Glove this Friday?!